I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
