dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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