At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Randomize
