My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize