did you get engaged???
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
