Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
