I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
