I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
