ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm going to jail i love you
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
