We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
