dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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