he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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