thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
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You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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