This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
