the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
