He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
