i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I love you.
Bad choice
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
