at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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