I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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