i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
