She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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