I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
