But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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