I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I want to have your abortion
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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