who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
