you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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