Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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