Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
