If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
