Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
