In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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