can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
