What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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