just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
