I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
