Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize