Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
