And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize