The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
