Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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