Don't you send me to vm
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
