We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can't talk, ducks in the car
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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