then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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