i just had sex bonerless
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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