I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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