I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
worst night to have a conscience
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?