Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
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No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...