Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
