and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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