found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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