i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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