his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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