I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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