You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
