i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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