so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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