I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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