hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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