I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
