this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
