Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didn't notice because vodka
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
