Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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