We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
dude. I can hear the air.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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