he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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