Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My ass is underappreciated
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
