the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I would ride that face into the sunset
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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