I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
