there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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